The U.S. government is expected to release stimulus checks to the masses soon. What should you spend your $1200 dollars on?

The government will soon be distributing stimulus checks.

          May 24, 2020

MANHATTAN, New York— The United States is expected to begin providing stimulus checks to the people of the country amid the COVID-19 global pandemic. Each person who qualifies for the stimulus package will receive a $1200 check in order to help those struggling financially during these times of crisis. However, the question on the minds of many Americans is “What exactly do we spend our $1200 on?”

          Economists from Rikers University have done extensive research trying to answer this question and the results are seemingly crystal clear. Firstly, people should spend their money on the express shipping option on the check. Since the paper for each check is made in China, the checks have to be shipped overseas and take two business days to arrive in the United States. The U.S. government is offering an option to have a person’s stimulus check to be shipped with express shipping, reducing the shipping time to one business day.

          Express shipping only costs $1,000 dollars and is deemed a great investment by the top economists at Rikers University. Dr. Adam Smith, a head economist from the prestigious institution, says, “While the express shipping option on the stimulus check is $1,000 dollars the benefit is immeasurable. To get the check one day early is an unprecedented bonus as in these uncertain times, no one is sure what tomorrow will bring. If you wait one extra day to receive the check, the country may have collapsed into anarchy by then and money may become worthless entirely. Then you would wish you had only clicked the express shipping option on your stimulus package.”

          Rikers University also asserts that people should spend the remainder of their stimulus check on subscriptions to finance magazines so that people can better understand how to effectively spend their money. The University recommends magazines such as Bloomberg Businessweek and Forbes, which are both great resources to use when trying to figure out how to spend one’s savings. In times of crisis like today, it is more important than anything for people to understand how to spend their money effectively and not waste it on useless junk such as facemasks or electric bills. By subscribing to these magazines people can be assured they will learn how to spend their money effectively and make it through these times safely.