SAN FRANCISCO, California- The masses of homeless people lazily roaming the streets of San Francisco appear to have gone on strike. Homeowners all across the nation have locked their doors in fear of being attacked by the homeless, fearing that the movement may expand and that the homeless are finally rising up against their well-sheltered oppressors. While it is currently unclear as to why the homeless are congregating now, one thing is clear: they want change, and they want it now.

          All across San Francisco, chants can be heard from the homeless community, as they scream, “We want,” and the last words are unclear. Many have guessed that they want homes and want the government to make changes immediately. Citizens like Martha Carlton, believe that the revolts are happening simply because they are “bored” and “have nothing better to do.” However, the most popular opinion is that the homeless want a raise from the government. Currently, the homeless do not make any money from living on the streets, and they have proposed a possible solution. A “homeless wage” starting at $5 per hour would provide the homeless with the bare minimum they need to survive. The “homeless wage” would also be progressively taxed, and would require those earning the wage to file for taxes each year on April 1st.  Many homeless people have directly voiced their intentions to invest their money directly into the housing market. The government has also been concerned about how exactly to get the money to the homeless people who need it, but some members of the local government have suggested just dropping tons of money into the streets from helicopters and allowing the homeless to take their fair share  

          In most strikes, the strikers have some leverage over those in power. For example, in the past, bus drivers have refused to drive their buses until they received better benefits. Because the government could not afford having a city without public transportation, many of these bus drivers were instead gifted with S’well Bottles. In that particular situation, the government sought to kill two birds with one stone. They wished to appease the bus drivers while also decreasing the amount of plastic water bottles in circulation.

          However, this plan backfired terribly. Instead of using the bottles for drinking, many of the bus drivers went into the cab business. Bus drivers had always wanted to make the switch but had nowhere to urinate while they were driving around. While the Department of Transportation allows bus drivers to sit naked on their seats and urinate while they work, most cabs are not equipped with this state-of-the-art sanitation technology. The S’well bottles allowed drivers another place to urinate while driving, and as such, the distribution of these bottles led many bus drivers to enter the taxi, or ride-hailing industry. In a survey from 3,500 Uber passengers, nearly 17% were either “appalled” or “disgusted” to see their drivers naked, while 34% were “indifferent” and 49% were “thrilled.” The number of bus drivers plummeted overnight, and due to having a lower supply of bus drivers, the city had to increase the wages of the bus drivers that had stayed in the public sector.

          In the ongoing homeless strikes, the masses simply have not demonstrated enough leverage to negotiate with the government. Rather than simply march around town waiting for the government to make changes, experts suggest that they should act more blatantly. Homeless experts say that the homeless should “consider defecating on public streets and fire hydrants”, and, “threaten to further damage government property” to get the wages they deserve. Whatever happens in the coming weeks always remember to smell the apple juice on the sidewalks before drinking it.