THE BRONX, New York— On June 8, the principal of The Bronx High School of Science, Dr. Jean Donahue, released a schoolwide email, informing students that amidst the COVID-19 global pandemic, all detentions for students in the school had been forgiven. Students with outstanding detentions will no longer have to sit in the detention room with Ms. Buckley and dozens of other rising delinquents for 90 minutes to serve each detention.

          Instead of detention, any student who has remaining detentions from cutting class or otherwise violating school policy will be sent directly to the Rikers Correctional Center on Rikers Island, several miles from the high school. For every outstanding detention, a student will serve one week as an inmate in maximum security under the watchful eyes of the guards at the university.

          Students and parents have been quick to shoot down this new idea, deeming it “ridiculous” and “inhumane”, but officials from the school have praised the boldness of the administration. Ms. Buckley, the CEO of Detention at The Bronx High School of Science,  made a statement saying, “These delinquents--I mean students--need to learn the true meaning of serving time. Sitting in detention for one-and-a-half hours? That’s not going to deter anyone from cutting. Sending them to jail however? That will straighten these thugs up. Solitary confinement changes a person.” Now staring off into the distance with empty eyes, Buckley also asserted that funding should be cut from various school programs, including, but not limited to: The Robotics Team, research programs, debate teams, and all sports teams. In her opinion, these funds should, “Instead be directed towards acquiring more contracts with local jails and holding facilities in order to increase the number of students that could be incarcerated for any infraction of school rules, no matter how minor. If students don't clean up their mess after lunch? They should serve time. Running in the hallway? One week in solitary confinement.”

          Buckley also proposed future plans to not only convert past detentions into jail sentences, but also all future detentions, and even asserted that eventually the school itself could be turned into a prison. She stated, “All we’re missing is some pumped up security, barbed wire instead of fences, and guard dogs lining the perimeter. The Bronx High School of Science will be amongst the most prestigious prisons in the country.” Dr. Donahue praised the idea from her colleague saying, “By doing this we can give students a headstart on their permanent records while they are still in high school. This program is truly the best addition the school has made in recent years.”

          The Rikers Times also reached out to some students affected by the program for comment, but they were all unavailable for comment for the next several weeks.