Dozens of players have expressed shock at the size of the bubble, which encases hotels, stadiums, and more.

NBA Courts in Orlando, where players are to finish out the 2019-2020 season.

          July 26, 2020

ORLANDO, Florida—Upon arrival at Orlando International Airport, the National Basketball Association (NBA) asked players to discard any sharp items they were carrying in their possession. While this appeared to be normal airport protocol, players were extremely surprised at the Orlando bubble, which turned out to be an enormous bubble in which they would be living and playing basketball for the next few months. The request to discard sharp items was actually the NBA’s first line of defense to ensure that none of the players would pop the bubble by accident. For the past few weeks, the NBA has reportedly been using hundreds of ventilators to blow up the bubble. This NBA bubble has shattered the record for the largest bubble in history, dethroning a bubble blown by a German child in the 1950s who passed away promptly after using all his breath to blow that bubble. Some have expressed concern that the ventilators could have been put to better use, but the NBA replied to this saying that, despite a rise in COVID-19 deaths, “the show must go on.”

          The NBA is also attempting to maintain the bubble by forcing players to eat enormous amounts of food so that the bubble remains light enough to float. Players and personnel are also requested to leave any flamethrowers outside of the bubble.

          NBA players have further commented on the absurdity of the bubble, which some have said look like “something out of Spongebob Squarepants.” J.R. Smith of the Los Angeles Lakers said at a press conference that he is still enraged he “had to throw out my 3-foot machete” after he entered Orlando, as he takes it everywhere he goes. “I miss it immensely,” he said.

          Paul George, a small forward from the Los Angeles Clippers, further expressed his outrage at players having to wake up before sunrise each morning to help blow up the bubble with their own breath. He also expressed shock at players having to learn to play in the bubble’s zero-gravity atmosphere in only a few short weeks. “The worst part,” he stated, “is that if someone pops the bubble, we're all falling from the sky along with the enormous buildings that they somehow managed to get up there in the bubble.” This is also a huge concern for Orlando citizens living under the bubble who are scared for their lives as the National Basketball Association ruthlessly puts their plan into action.